I am almost 50 years old and have been married 22 years. I have to have direct stimulation to the clitoris using a massager to climax, whereas before I didn’t. What is the issue? When I was younger I had some trauma to the genitals from a bike accident. I want to enjoy my husband without having to use “toys." It makes me feel less than what I was. When I mention this problem to my GYN, we did blood work, which found I have low white blood cells. Expensive testing, but no cancer, but still no answers for this either.


Most women need direct clitoral stimulation to climax. This is probably normal for you and not related to the childhood accident. Also, with age and loss of hormones, it can take more to climax. You may be entering menopause which may include normal changes in sexual function. Or you may have a problem with sexual function, which can be affected by the following:

  • medical conditions
  • medications
  • aging
  • hormone levels
  • comfort with partner

Seek out a health provider that you feel comfortable with to further discuss these concerns.

All My Best,
Speaking of Women’s Health Nurse

January 15, 2019 at 11:52am